A motorcycle trip.

What I had gotten myself into was the best part about what was going to happen today. I had waited so long to reconnect with my baby, my motorcylce. It had been a good couple months since I moved to the Northwest and been separated but it was shipped up here and the day was finally here!

Today was the day! I woke up at 1am and hopped on the greyhound in Spokane to head off Seattle. Dead tired out of my mind with no sleep to sustain this long day ahead but I was so pumped! I was going to be reunited with my motorcycle that had just been shipped from my hometown in Arizona straight to Seattle!

I’ve grown fond of my bike over the years and it’s always felt like we rode together as one, because I was so comfortable on it, it was second nature.

When I got to Seattle, around 7:30 in the morning I got off in Seattle to walk around town tk find my bike at a random persons house, in whom I didn’t know. My roommate Amanda had a friend that lived in Seattle and he was more than happy to let the shippers drop it off at his place. I was so grateful.

I had never been to Seattle and from the greyhound drop off, I was clearly lost and confused of what bus would take me where I needed to go. I started searching, looking like a lost person in the middle of the woods or something.

Eventually, a nice young man that worked for security lead me to the right bus stop and there I waited in expectation for a good 45 minutes. Missed the first bus on accident oops.

I had to be at work at 12pm and that soon came to my attention, because initially I didn’ plan on being this behind, oh no! I did my math wrong and I would not make it there on time. My phone was dying too, snap! Everything at once…”think Melody think” I thought to myself. My heart beat raised. I texted my coworker to see if she could cover. (Please God help me)

I did make it.to thw right house and when I got to James’, he wasn’t there but I decided to peak around and see where it was. Oh the excitement!!! I felt like I hadn’t seen her in years, although it had only been a few months. I went around to the back and there she was, looking as beautiful as ever:. I took this pic right then in that moment (of course after I reunited for a sec)
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All around it was sprinkling. The gloominess combined with the bright flowers and green grass all around made for the perfect environment for a solum reunion. I looked at my black shining ninja 650 where it was sitting and noticed everything was the same about it. Yay. The ride back would be perfect. I just knew it.

I waited for James to get home so I could use his facilities and meet him of course. He came riding up in his car and got out with a big smile on his face. We talked for a bit and I decided he was nice….I love random new friends! I noticed I had a little time to kill so we walked down to the local coffee shop and had a lovely talk getting to know each other.

After a while it was time to head back and get on my bike to make it back to work. Or not! My cowoker got my shift covered! Phew. Praises went up.

I rode through mountainous areas and it was, of course, raining for the majority of the time and I was not prepared! Froze my butt off! I did not bring warm enough gloves and my layers got soaked!

About an hour and a half into the ride I made it into the mountain pass. That is when the bitter cold hit me like a ton of bricks and my fingers got blue! They were so fragile. My hands started to become bitterly cold and all at once I noticed my motorcycle gas was below empty. Ahh everything at once! I eventually made it but not until my hands were about numb and I could barely move them while getting off my bike! “Thank you Lord, for protecting me so I didn’t freeze and crash” were my only thoughts. At the gas station, there happened to be a pair of warm gloves for sale and socks as well, I was soaked from head to toe and bought it!

Despite these altering weather conditions of rain and snow there was no where else that I would have rather been. The mountains were so unbelievably majestic and the gloominess made it all the more fun. Out in nature and riding through it on my bike made me aware and I had never felt more close to God.

There were times that the sun would come out and the skies opened and the light shined from above. Glory! An hour away from Spokane there was an open valley of grass and pastures with radiant skies! I was blown away but freezing. I didn’t mind being freezing. I had never felt more alive. God was watching over me and I was reunited with my bike. What more could I want?

Driving into Spokane, I was relieved. Relieved that I had made it that far in the rain and cold and had survived ha! Driving home and being so close to my house where I so desperately needed to get warm, brought emotions of security. I had a home and a jacuzzi at that!

I sat in the Jacuzzi and fell asleep in the warm water as happy as a clam (: and thus ended a happy day and a grand adventure through the northwest on my bike!

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Darkness creeps in.

As I’m sitting here in the dark,

I stare into the empty space.

What a strange place.

I wonder if it has something to give me.

Yet it took so much from me.

But I still hope and cling to what I can’t grasp….

Yearning for the thing that won’t last.

Day by day.

The things that pass.

Night by night.

It doesn’t last.

Why am I still here?

Thinking this. Thinking that.

Why am I the way I am?

Why I feel the way I do?

Why do I think I’m just “so” special.

Even the thought of being held.

Will I sell?

Sell out?….

Yet I still yearn for more of what seemed like lies.

Yet no one can tell me what I won’t even try.

I stare into the empty space.

These strange thoughts.

This strange place.

So I sit, I wait patiently.

God finally shows up,

Those dark places, he knows well.

He’ll always show up….

The pull from within.

Just sit

Just be free” he says to me.

I say “I can’t just do that

I can’t just be free.

It’s not that easy you see?”

And I think to myself,

Why won’t I let him hold me?

My maker, my only.

The Rejection hurts.

It hurts him, it hurts me.

Especially when I just don’t want to see.

Like going to bed at night,

Trying to keep him out Of my sight

Not letting him here.

But the healing is there.

I’m so close to letting go

Letting go of everything that I can’t bear.

So close.

I think again “Night, please take me, until my awakening.”

But no rest or sweet sleep comes till the morning comes.

Is it too late?

No. he’s still here.

Every night and day.

To say, “I’m here”.

 

 

Humbled.

Gloomy.

I stumbled upon this house and this neighborhood in the fall of 2013. The neighborhood had big trees, old rustic ginormous houses – it was daunting, terrifying and majestic. With the surrounding scenery around me and the feeling deep inside of me so poignant- I got to thinking of the beautiful, the more darker, the more bittersweet things of life. Things like death. Or the fact that we grow as much as we let ourselves.The revelation that we one day die and that we aren’t really all we see ourselves to be…We one day have to face ourselves the way God made us, and that is-we are nothing without him.

So the truth crept in while I’m taking a walk through the neighborhood in downtown Spokane and I find my thoughts drift right back where I started: as a child. Here I am now 15 years later, same person but aging and continuing to learn yet I need to constantly remember what really matters.

So here’s to another day to remind me of the shortness of life and the meaning thereof. Days of learning, days of aging. Blah blah blah…

What is our life? It is but a vapor. Here today and gone tomorrow. I want to be real and not hold my life too dear or too close.

I want to share a few biblical verses that really came to my mind. “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 1 Timothy 6:7 “Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: I….Rev 3:17 Well when we really take a step back and see where we are at spiritually and focus on what really lasts, we might be surprised with ourselves, and find that we need God to really step in where we kicked him out.

We need to humble ourselves and become child like in our humility, to let the God of the universe into our daily living. “Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven”. Mathew 18:3 I mean why not let God in, he made you! He wants you to know him and his love for you. Everything we have is given to us from him and we ought not to think of ourselves more highly because we are but his clay. Letting God into our life gives us sight to see our purpose..

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs 4:7

“Don’t worry about your life cause if you hold it too close you’ll lose it”.